Tweet  “When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.”

Jack Handy

Tweet

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared”

Jack Handy